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grandma’s memory

November 14, 2010

I wear this necklace when I need to remember…

I remember visiting my grandma and grandpa for a week during the summer and playing in their backyard and walking on the railroad tracks. I remember visits to Smiley Park where there were MANY smiles and laughter intermixed with feelings of nausea as we crawled off different parts of the playground. I remember her bringing apple slices with salt into our bedroom for a night time snack. I remember visiting them at Christmas time and sitting in front of my grandma as she carefully combed my hair…feeling the warm air from the furnace…hoping it would keep blowing forever.

I remember when my grandma lost my grandpa twice- once when his memory began to fade and once when he drew his last breath. I remember when she began to lose parts of her memory. I remember having the same conversation four times within a single phone call. And then I remember my last conversation with her and the amazing clarity we shared as I told her that my son, her second great grandson, was born. She died within the month…but she lives on. My mom asked me what I wanted from what my grandma left behind.

My grandma did not have much but she did still have some of the necklaces that I remember her draping around her neck or mine on Sunday mornings we shared.

While I’m fairly certain she purchased these from garage sales…we treasured them together. I still treasure them.

I wear this necklace when I need to remember that I am only part of something much bigger than what I can imagine. When life feels overwhelming I rub the smooth underside and begin to find restoration as I remember.

I remember my grandma and am thankful for this root of my life…family.

I remember that our FATHER is in control and I am only part of the bigger picture.

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