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I chose…

August 22, 2013

…to wash the dishes when I just wanted to go watch an episode of Fringe.

…to listen to my daughter when she was talking about absolutely NOTHING.

Wait…did I ACTUALLY write that?

Did I, a mother who believes that I treasure every new idea my children share, an educator who positions children’s voices in powerful conversations, a researcher who discovers astounding realities in discourse analysis, say that my firstborn was talking about nothing?

Is there talk about NOTHING? In the moment, it felt like it.

I was tired from the first of two consecutive full days of meetings. I was hungry. I was sad that I didn’t get to go with my children and friends to one of my most favorite places in the world. The house needs cleaned AGAIN—how???

Then I finally realized that I am tired, hungry, sad…I am hungry. I am hungry with a hunger that can’t be fulfilled through food and drink. My spirit is hungry.

I long for peace…for…the peace of God, which transcends all understanding.

P1050445So, I chose to seek for that peace.

I sat in a room in quiet solitude and breathed deeply. I looked at pictures and breathed deeply. I listened to music and breathed deeply. I danced and sang to the music and my breath returned.

I wash the dishes.

I walk upstairs and listen to my daughter ramble on and on about a book that I don’t quite understand nor appreciate fully…but I am able to hear her heart again.

I am grateful for a God who hears my heart every day.

One Comment leave one →
  1. August 22, 2013 11:55 pm

    Thank you for writing this down. I think sometimes that when talking to someone else, we get so focused on the “what’s in it for me” in the monologue/dialogue ā€“ the self-interest factor ā€“ we forget we are talking to ‘someone else’ who is a person. As you pointed out so humbly in your post, sometimes it is not necessarily what the other person is saying that, all by itself, gives worth or meaning to their presence – but instead the fellowship we receive in each other’s company simply by sharing each other with each other.

    I find the more I truly pay attention to the most subtle of nuances, or seemingly the most trivial of details, in someone else’s monologue, the more I truly appreciate the personal uniqueness s/he has chosen to entrust to me. What an honor for someone to trust me enough to let down the guard and openly share his or her self with me; whether by words, music, a personal hug, or just a simple passing smile.

    When we lay down at the end of this short life, regardless of our personal accomplishments, others will remember us by one quality alone: how did we impact them on a personal level. It is not what we do that holds value all by itself, but who we are and how that affects what we do; the spirit in which we do it. By this alone, others remember us. And as you alluded, only a deep relationship with Jesus makes our relationship with others the best it can possibly be.

    Thank you for this brief snippet that, in every way, relates directly to each one of us.

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